January 31, 2005

STINKOR: The ultimate in crappy villains and/or action figures

Ok, so I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. For anyone who remembers Stinkor from Masters of the Universe, wasn't he the crappiest villain ever! Really? What was his weakness? His own stench! It got the the point where it wasn't even a challenge for He-Man and the gang because all they had to do was take off his mask and he'd run away in an attempt to escape his own stench! What were those conversations like between the Masters of the Universe when they found out Stinkor was coming:

He-Man: Ah shit! That son of a bitch Stinkor is coming again.
Man at Arms: Well I'm not dealing with him. Last time he came I showered for three days straight to get that stench out.
He-Man: Ah Shit here he comes!
Man at Arms: Stinkor Fuck off! You know you're just going to get your ass kicked!

And so Stinkor would leave because he knew it was the truth. But no one ever felt sorry for poor Stinkor. I for one kind of do. You have to look at it this way:

  • You have Beastman, a guy that could control all animals
  • that Fishman or Seaman(or whatever his name was) could swim and breathe underwater, and communicate with fish
  • Skelotor just kicked ass

but what did Stinkor have: THE ABILITY TO STINK! Now that's a pretty crappy power. And speaking of crappy what about the Stinkor action figure that was released during the original series. Most action figures have some special features, karate chop action;maybe the spin around; hell they might even come with a cool vehicle. What did the Stinkor toy do: you squeezed his head and he stunk. What kind of crappy toy is that?! And how many parents regret buying toy for their kid? I'm sure my mom does. One of my earliest memories is of my brother shoving Stinkor in my face and sqeezing his head. Not a very pleasant one to say the least.

For these reasons I say that we should all do something to make Stinkor feel better. I don't know what we'd do for him. Maybe we could throw him a party. Ya. It could be like when a football team comes really close to winning that big game. We could say things like "It's ok Stinkor maybe your next toy won't suck so much" or "Good try man, you'll take down He-man one day, and he'll be showering for weeks after you stink him up"! Ya that'd be good.

Youngblood