Something a little different

Below I’ve pasted the lyrics to the song “When the President talks to God” by Bright Eyes. I just wanted to post these lyrics, just ‘cause. I realize that it’s a poor excuse to get out of doing a real post, but this song is amazing. Read the lyrics and if you want there’s a torrent link for the whole album that it’s from, for you at the bottom so you can actually listen to it if you want to. Either that or you can search for the song on whatever you use to download stuff with. So here it is:

When the President talks to God,
are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women’s rights,
and send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike,
when the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind,
when the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed,
when the President talks to God?

When the President talks to God,
I wonder which one plays the better cop.
"We should find some jobs, the ghetto's broke,"
"No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't;
just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke!"
That's what God recommends.

When the President talks to God,
do they drink near beer and go play golf,
while they pick which countries to invade,
which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess God just calls a spade a spade,
when the President talks to God.

When the President talks to God,
does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head,
when he kneels next to the presidential bed?
Does he ever smell his own bullshit?
When the President talks to God?
I doubt it...I doubt it.

Torrent Link: http://ts.searching.com/download.asp?id=466545

It’s also on the Bright Eyes - “First day of my life” single.

Youngblood

The Search for a Flux Capacitor

Lately I’ve been doing some serious thinking about my life. I’ve been assessing a lot of things. I’ve realized that I haven’t done a lot of things I wanted to do by now, and there are a lot of things that I would like to do while I am still in this period of my life. However, mainly I’ve found that there is one major thing that is seriously lacking in my life right now (besides dignity). The “thing” in question, is a flux capacitor. If you don’t know what a flux capacitor is, it is the device that makes time travel possible. That is if you go along with the Dr. Emmett Brown theory of time travel. So I’ve decided to embark on a search for such an item. I’ve outlined some steps as to how to acquire it and I’ve decided to share them with you incase some of you out there are also lacking of a flux capacitor, and need one to make your life feel more whole; or full if you will.

1. First you need to have a place to go and reason to go there. Make it a good one because you can (and probably will) fuck shit up, and you could be stuck wherever you’re going. So make it a place you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your pathetic existence, you shmuck.
2. Once you’ve decided on a destination you now must find a power source. To travel through time you will need a charge of 1.21 gigawatts. Dr. Brown originally used plutonium, however a bolt of lightning did work in a pinch. Both will be difficult to use, but will be effective. I recommend this step before you do anything else because the flux capacitor is going to be tough (and expensive) to build or find. So you better make sure you have a use for it before you spend all your time and money acquiring it.
3. Okay, now that you have a destination and a power source you’re going to want to start finding your flux capacitor. I recommend eBay. While Napoleon Dynamite’s brother and uncle got hosed on their time machine, you might get lucky and find the suitable instructions, parts or maybe even the whole thing. I also recommend looking through ads in magazines like popular science or popular mechanics. Someone might be wanting to unload some primo merchandise. Do you really want to be getting left out on a time bending adventure, just because you were too cheap to buy a magazine or two? I didn’t think so.
4. Well, I guess that’s about it. Once you have you have your flux capacitor then you’re pretty much set. All you have to do is figure out a way to focus that energy into the flux capacitor. Once again, for solutions to this query I recommend you check out eBay and various magazines. Either that or just run a big pole right into the flux capacitor, and wait for lighting to strike it. This is all up to you, I’m just here to help you get your hands on a flux capacitor, not tell you how to use it.

Happy hunting, good luck, and see you in the future.

Youngblood

Brain Farts

I’ll never forget that beautiful summer day, when I was watching the sun set, drinking a nice cold beer, and listening to the ball game on the radio. I didn’t think anything could possibly make this moment any better, until I saw a flock of birds fly across the sunset and exploded from eating all that rice in the bird feeder.

I’d like to say that the reason I never had many girlfriends when I was younger was because I was a gentleman and all the girls wanted bad boys, but in actuality I was just a loser.

I wonder if the Green Lantern ever used his ring to create a toilet of he was on a long trip and needed to take a crap.

I wonder what fart putty would sound like if you swallowed it. Like, what kind of sounds would it make on the way down? Just imagine how it would sound on the way out! That’s probably the main reason the label cautions against swallowing it. T has nothing to do with toxins or choking. The manufacturer is probably just trying to prevent all the annoyances and never-ending laughter.

The voices in my head say ‘yes’.

When people put “committed” on their resumés under “relevant skills”, what is that supposed to mean. What is that supposed to mean? “I’m committed!” To what!? Heroin? Your dog? Reality TV? This makes no sense to me.

Youngblood

Something that grinds my gears

You know what really grinds my gears? Movie adaptations not getting things right. It’s not the fact that they get things wrong; it’s the complaining done afterwards that really gets to me. Yesterday I went to see Rent with my girlfriend. I enjoyed it, as did she. It was her second time around seeing it. She’s a big fan of Rent. When the stage production came to the city (Regina), she went to see it; and when she heard about this movie getting made, it was all she could talk about. Like I said she enjoyed it, but she was picking out things all throughout the movie that were inaccurate to the stage production. Fair enough. If someone is a fan of the original work, and is bothered by inaccuracy in the on-screen version of said work that’s fine by me. What gets me however is when people complain about certain works and their opinions are disregarded and called fanboys. This is where my complaining comes in.

I can complain a lot about comic book movies and inaccuracy, but do I? No! Because they work on screen (well not all of them). But do my opinions count for anything? No, of course they don’t! I get things like: “Oh whatever. The X-Men looked really cool and they looked good on screen, quit acting like such a fanboy”. No, they didn’t. Yes, people running around in blue and yellow spandex does look kind of silly but that’s what the X-Men were about. That’s what gave them the feel that they had. The X-Men on the page were bright and colourful. These X-Men are dark and angry. No wonder the world fears them. They look like the bad guys! In a western, do you ever see the hero wearing a black hat? No, of course not! But then again, what does my opinion matter, I’m just a fanboy posting my grievances on the Internet.

Like I said before I have no problem with people airing their grievances with a film adaptation but you have to listen to all sorts of opinions. I just touched on comics prior to this, but what also pisses me off is the reaction I get when I say that the film adaptation for To Kill a Mockingbird sucked. Ya, that’s right. I said it. That movie blew ass. Yes, it may be considered this great American classic film, but had any of these people read the book. From the sounds of things, no they haven’t. If they did they would have know that starting a movie half way through the book doesn’t quite work right. But when I air my grievances about this so-called treasure I get these looks like “I can’t believe he just said that”. Well believe it paco, ‘cause I did. You know what, I’m gonna say it again: the film adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird sucked big, fat ass!

You see, this is one of the first times that I’ve ever aired my grievances about X-Men, mainly because I figured no one would give that much of a damn and that I would just be a fanboy. “Oh whatever it’s just a comic book”, they’d say. ‘Cause you know it’s apparently not “legitimate” literature. But apparently I have to sit and listen to some jerkoff bitch about how one of their favorite books wasn’t perfect to the fucking T, and if I bring up some kind of argument pertaining to X-Men or Batman, I’m some kind of childish fanboy and my example or opinions don’t count because they’re not from sources considered “legitimate”. Fuck you jerkoff, and fuck your opinions too. Now, I know that not all people are like this and I’m not shitting on those particular people. I have no beef with you guys. You’re cool. I just think that everyone should take a step back before you complain about inaccuracies in film. Think about it first before you bitch or start shitting on directors; yes, I do realize that coming from film school I should be all about ragging on directors, it’s what you do there, but I will point out the fact that I am no longer there and that there is a reason for that (but that’s a rant for another time). Also, keep things to yourself sometimes maybe, because even though you’re pissed about something doesn’t mean everyone else is or even gives a shit.

And that’s what grinds my gears.

Youngblood

What I'll do on my semester off

Now that I have decided to take a semester off from school, people often ask me what I’m going to do with my time. My main goal is to just get a job and make some money doing what ever I’m going to do, and I just want to relax and chill out. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t be doing anything else. Now that I have this free time I think I’ll finally be able to get around to doing some things I’ve been itching to do for a while. Here they are:

Read Moby Dick: Call me Ishmiel, but I think this could actually be a pretty good read. If not, it’ll at least kill some time. The worst that can happen is the inevitable barrage of “what the fuck”-esque questions.

Get my hands on a flux capacitor: This one’s already in the works. Stay tuned to a future post for more details.

Generate 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity: Needed in conjunction with the flux capacitor, 1.21 gigawatts is the required amount of electricity to travel through time, if you follow the Dr. Emmett Brown theory. One can use plutonium, or perhaps a lightning bolt to generate such a charge. The lighting bolt requires some serious timing to focus it into the flux capacitor, but the plutonium can be just as difficult to acquire. I’m hoping that I can get a great enough charge out of banging two spoons together really fast.

Bust a ghost: If I can’t find a job I can just do this. You always need something to fall back on. I just need to get my hands on one of those proton packs and I’m laughing. The only problems might stem from the copyright lawsuit form the makers of Ghostbusters.

Dodge a bullet: If Keanu can do it so can I. ‘Nuff said!

Run for governor of California: Seems like anyone can do it so I figure I might as well throw my name in the hat.

Become benevolent dictator of Duff, Saskatchewan: All citizens of Duff, kneel before your new ruler! A new order is about to begin and the new empire of Duff will eventually expand to the west coast of Canada to the far reaches of Gorlitz in the east. Mwah Ha Ha!!!!

Add “Wine Connoisseur” to my list of bogus hobbies: I claim to do a lot of things that I don’t do, and after watching Sideways I figure I might as well add one more bogus hobby to the list. Like, does anyone honestly believe that I’m a comic book artist or that I’m an animator? Probably not. This one is actually believable.

So that’s about it. I think it’s a pretty big order to fill, but if you think about it some of them can work to speed up the process of others. Being the governor of California can get me into position to take over Duff. And the flux capacitor and the 1.21 gigawatts are part of the same mission. Others would just be cool to do. So wish me luck as I embark on the magical of all mystery tours.

Youngblood

Catching up with the times

So Ok…I’ve got another post based on an article from IMDB. Give it a read and then keep reading here.

Chinese TV Official Sentenced in Payola Scandal

For those who don’t know, or couldn’t tell from the article, payola is when a DJ or producer or whatever, accepts a bribe to put a song or show on the air. This went on in North America in the 1950’s during the emergence of rock ‘n roll. It wasn’t uncommon for DJ’s to receive a record with some cash slipped in the sleeve. Back then DJ’s were the ones who decided who got put on the air and a little cash incentive got your record played a lot faster than others. Today, now with playlists that practice is supposed to have stopped, however I think it’s still going on. How do you explain most of the crap you hear on the radio these days?

Another event going on during the 1950’s was China’s “Great Leap Forward”. This was China’s attempt to modernize and catch up with the rest of the modern world. The campaign began in 1958 and when until 1960. In the end the campaign was considered a failure and in 1981 the Communist Party admitted that they were impatient for quick results.

Now that the history lesson is over and everyone is caught up, here’s where everything connects and some sort of quasi-rant/opinion begins:

I find it funny how even though China has caught up to the modern world by now, this is their first incident of payola. One might think that maybe it’s because they learnt from everyone else’s mistakes because there was never an occurrence of it over there. But no…not really…was just a matter of time I guess. I guess that great leap finally landed in the mid 50’s. Really wasn’t a leap in this case though. It was more of a hop really. A little more than a skip, but not quite a jump; definitely not a leap. Although it might only be a little hop, I guess it really isn’t anything to be proud of. I suppose it’s best that it’s only a hop. Imagine if it was a leap. Where would they be then? The whole station probably would have gone bankrupt, or maybe programming would have gotten out of hand and all there was to watch was someone saying the world “whatsadoodle” 24 hours a day, or maybe even a meteor would have crashed into it. I think it’s definitely a good thing that it was only a hop ‘cause whatsadoodle is an annoying fucking word.

Youngblood

A letter to gun nuts

First off read the article contained in the following link :

Gun Owners Take Aim at MTV Documentary

If you were too lazy to read it or figured I would explain it in the post (you were right on that one), the article says that a bunch of Gun Nuts got all offended by a recent episode of MTV's "True Life", which focused on gun owners. They're complaining that 50% of the people showcased on the program were involved in crime. To those offended I say, "go fuck yourself".

Now don't get me wrong, I know it sucks to be associated with certain practices solely based on your hobbies or interests. I wouldn't like to be associated with crime just because I happen to collect guns. It's the same as ow I don't think it's fair that, I am a nerd because I like comics. However, I have accepted the fact that tehre are a lot of serious nerds out there and the might just make up the majority of the comic reader population. I've accepted it; I live with it; I've put a positive spin on it. I'm not just a nerd; I'm a cool nerd, who has a life.

These Gun Nuts have to do the same thing. yes, there are some people out there that shed a negative light on your particular hobby. you know what? Suck it up! You have to have one if you are going to have the other; dark to have light; evil to have good. The show did just that. It showed both sides of the coin the positive side and the dark side. What the Gun Nuts are asking for is to glamourize themselves rather than show the world two different sides to a subject.

So to the Gun Nuts I say:

Instead of complaining about it, just try make yourself sound better and more positive, while still showing the other side of reality. All you're doing by whining about it is making yourselves look like a bunch of dinks. Face the fact that there are people out there that do terrible things with guns , and instead of trying to separate yourselves from these villains-of-your-cause, try advocating safe gun use. Maybe you'll change a few minds, instead of turning people away by critisizing them. You don't gain friends by talking shit about people. It just doesn't work that way. But I guess you wouldn't want them in your little club anyway. They're probably not good enough for you; not high class enough. Because you know....you guys are all so classy. Oh, by the way, I've been meaning to ask: Haveyou moved into that new double-wide yet? I know you've had your heart set on it ever since the wheels fell off of your last house.

Youngblood

note: Youngblood had no intention of offending people who live in trailers with that last remark. Only Gun nuts who live in trailers. The rest of you are cool.