I have returned!... I hope someone noticed I was gone

So, yes I have been absent from this blog page/time-taker-upper/place for me to rant things/excuse to use an excess amount of slashes. I do apologize for I'm sure you were worried sick. And what have I been doing you ask. Well its been a roller coaster ride.

1. I've been busy with school. This is always the easiest excuse to use.
2. When I haven't been busy with school, I've been at work, adding pictures of kittens into pictures of my friends.
3. I bought a Wii. I don't think that needs any real explanation.
4. I've been fretting about a few choice ladies. However, I think the fretting has ceased, and it better have because even I'm starting to think I've been a bit of a little bitch about it lately.
5. The occasional binge drinking.
6. Spacing out. This has nothing to do with drugs, I've just been finding myself sitting and spacing out for significant periods of time, usually while attempting to sit down to do some sort of homework. I think its been taking up probably the most amount of time because it's easy, free, and I won't have to see the effects of it until a later date.
7. Going to movies. Zack and Miri Make A Porno and Burn After Reading very well could be the funniest new movies I've seen in quite some time.
8. Masturbating
9. Growing a beard. Smyrish has started a beard growing contest on facebook. It's only one week in but I think I'm doing ok. I know I'm doing better than others. Also, just like #6 it's easy, and free That and I want to beat Smyrish. Here's what I'm looking like after week 1:


10. I got a cat. Her name is Starbuck (no it has nothing to do with coffee, but everything to do with Battlestar Galactica). She wakes me up at all hours of the night and likes to sleep in the sink, but she's very cuddly so that's kind of kick ass. Abigail Road gave her too me because she was causing Smyrish's allergies to act up too much.


11. Reading lots of comic books.
12. Trying to make a lot of new comic strips. I've got 2 sketched out.
13. Working out. I've gone from 238/240 at the end of august down to 228 just a few weeks ago. My goal is 220 by Christmas and it's totally do able.

I think that's about it. I'm sure that there's more, but I'm tired and need sleep, so I bid thee adieu.

Alice in Burton-land

So Tim Burton's is making a new Alice in Wonderland movie. Unsurprisingly Johnny Depp is in it too. I'm sure this makes some people happy, and will cause a large contingent of people to simultaneously crap and cream their pants, but do you know what I think? FUCK TIM BURTON! That's right I said it! Fuck Tim Burton. While I'm pissing people off, I'm going to go right ahead and say fuck Johnny Depp too, he's guilty by association!

I used to get excited about Tim Burton and Johnny Depp doing a movie together. It was something special. But now it's at to the point where they've just been making the same movie over and over and over again. But, before everyone gets their panties in a twist, I don't mean the same movie storywise, I mean visually. It's gotten to the point where I'd rather see a sequel to Planet of the Apes and find out what the ape-Lincoln was all about than watch another outing from the Burton/Depp brigade. I can already tell you that at some point Helena Bohnam Carter's going to show up and have crazy hair and crack-eyes, and so will Depp. There won't be a single leaf on any of the crazy, twisted trees, and the sky will be perpetually dark and gloomy, and the sun will only shine at the end of the movie...maybe.

It's not that I'm accusing Timmy of having no talent, because he very much does. I loved Big Fish. That movie was awesome. While it still felt like a Tim Burton movie, at the same time it was very un-Tim Burton. It was a breath of fresh air. I even enjoyed Corpse Bride, however, it did have the same visual style (crazy trees, perpetually gloomy, no sun, blah, blah, blah), and a disappointing storyline, I was too busy busting a nut over the animation to care when I first watched it. But if you take Corpse Bride's visual style and combine it with Sleepy Hollow, chucks of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Sweeny Todd - - - - excuse me while I go puke all over myself...there we go. That's the ticket....moving right along - - - - if you combine these movies you have just what I created: a big pile of puke. There are chunks that can be distinguished from other chucks but in the end its all the same pile of puke.

Like I said earlier Timmy-boy has talent, and this whole dark and gloomy style isn't something new, he's been using it all his career, back when he made Vincent when he was working for Disney. However, as far as I'm concerned he's not using his talent and he's slapping a lot of his fans (or probably more accurately, now ex-fans) in the face. Now, I'm about to use a word that I really don't like to use unless absolutely necessary, but I can't think of any other way to properly express myself. Here goes:

Tim Burton is a SELLOUT.

There I said it. If you plan on waiting for me in a dark ally to shank me please make it quick, and if you're now making your way up to a bell tower to give me the surprise of my life, please take some practice shots first and get the job done right to save me a costly ambulance ride.

But the fact is, he has sold out. He could use his creativity and make something new and fresh and astound his fans, yet he persists to go for the payday. He knows (and so does Depp) that if he sticks to his same old style there will be a big fat paycheck in it for him, and Johnny. They know that there will always be some fanboys and girls out there who will be ready to soak their pants on command just so they can get their payday, but you can count me out.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm totally going to boycott this new Alice in Wonderland. No, I'm not one of those fanboys who makes it his personal mission in life to rob some director of their hard earned 10 bucks. There's probably about a 99% chance that I'll see it in its first run in the theaters, and that's for two reasons. 1) Because if I'm going to continue this rant against Burton for years to come, I need to have viewed the material. I'm not that ignorant. 2) I actually hope that Burton proves me wrong and really does do something that I like, and not exactly what I'm expecting.

The Strip! #2

A Good Old Fashioned Rant

I hate facebook.

There I said it.

But before some of you ask "then why do you have a facebook account?", let me continue. I hate facebook for a variety of reasons. However, I also like if for a variety of other reasons. The main reason I like it, and still have an account, is for the messaging. People I know in both far away lands as well as locally, who also have facebook accounts, are easy to get in touch with. That's really the main reason I'm on the stupid thing.

Now onto the hate!

What sparked the idea to write this post is that today, in my e-mail, I received a message informing me that someone I know on facebook has invited me to join a group called "1,000,000 AGAINST THE NEW FACEBOOK LAYOUT!". I promptly denied the invitation and was about to go on with my sorry existence when curiosity got the best of me and I decided to take a peek at how many people where in this group, and what was being posted on the message boards and such. Well, I have to tell you that my disgust was at least triplicated (I think that's a word) and I suddenly felt a great deal of pity for these poor souls who obviosly have nothing better to do than to discuss and bitch and while and complain about the horror that will be unleashed on the world when the new facebook layout becomes the only layout they have to choose. I know, I know, it will be tradgedy.

...and it's not like it's a small group either. There are over 160,000 members, almost 2,500 posts on its main forum, and 51 disscussion board topics. People are talking about cyber-revolutions, and protests outside facebooks headquarters, and by reading their previous posts you can tell that these people are actually serious about this.

What has this world come to when you can't get a person to help an old lady get up after slipping on an icy sidewalk, but there are 100,000 cyber zombies talking about revolution and protests over a fucking website.

It just really makes me sick....and not just this topic, but the fact that this fraking website has become so quickly engrained into our culture. Daily you can hear people say "Oh that picture would make a great facebook profile", or "I'll facebook you later". Now granted, I will admit that that I have said these things. However, now that I have reminded myself of this, I will promptly vomit all over myself both as a sort of repentance, and because I have, in fact, just made myself sick.

Comics Kick Ass #1

Batman and Superman are jerks!


...and they are apparently really in love with themselves, or each other

Saturday at the Arcade

The other day I had one of my wonderful brainstorms. I should wrangle a group of people together and go play video games at an arcade. Apparently such things still exist. The extent of my wrangling was quite small as few people either didn't want to go, or said they would then promptly locked their doors and threw out their telephones so I could not contact them, for perhaps to them going to an arcade is some sort of silly, childish time waster. They could be right. But this particular arcade only charges $3/hour of gaming. I don't care who you are or where you live or what you do, $3 for an hour of entertainment is pretty freaking good.

So, I managed to wrangle Smyrish and one of my bearded friends into coming to the arcade, and let me tell you: It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't terrible. It had a Wrestlemania arcade where I could play as Razer Ramon and Dionk the Clown. How could it be bad?


It wasn't so much that it was bad, it was just a little boring. Perhaps the previous evenings four hours of video games kind of ruined me for the days events. I think that the proof of this, is in the fact that I had more fun playing ski ball than the Terminator Arcade that I still suck at.


Ah well, like I said, it was only $3 and everything was free. I didn't have to drop quarters into a machine that a) didn't work and b) didn't give me my money back, just as the scenario is usually played out when I go arcading. For some reason I didn't play any Dance Dance Revolution. It's usually the first thing I go to. Perhaps I was just too distracted by all the bright flashing lights. . . wait a tick. All DDR is, is bright flashing lights...hmmmmm...whatever the case may be, the fact is I didn't play it, and it was odd.

They had some Classic games like Metal Slug (which Smyrish is playing above), Ms. Pac Man, and some good old Street Fighter which were pretty kick ass. Even with these, I don't think it was enough to draw me back anytime soon. Maybe next time we'll put a few beer in us and then go. But perhaps being drunk in public surrounded by a bunch of children in the early afternoon isn't the best idea legally speaking.

Where is My Mind: The Strip!

this was all done in Gimp. so it's a few steps up from MS Paint. Hopefully the lack of artistic skill will be balanced out by some funny.

A new time waster

Well, today has been productive. After working 7 days straight at the photo hut for while the old man is was on holidays, I finally have a day off, and 4 more follow this one. So what have I done that is so productive you ask. Well, I watched Battlestar Gallactica. . . ok maybe not that's not very productive, but it's something I've been meaning to do. Following that I made a trek through the hot sun and crazy winds to the village of value to purchase some articles of clothing, and browse books of both the traditional and comic form. It was a partly successful trip, but I didn't exactly find what I was looking for. However, my greatest success of the day thus far has been the discovery of an all new time wasting activity for me: taking pictures of me friends and putting them in the game Doom.



I'm sure that I'm at least a good decade behind in thinking that this is cool and fun. But, oh well. I like it now and that's what matters, not? I just like to think that it has an enormous amount of possibilities for fun...and like I said, I can waste even more time now doing another thing to put off my priorities.

I love being a slacker.

I like boobs, and I think they're popular in the funny books too

So, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge boobs. HOT TIP FOR THE LADIES: If you want bigger tits, it may be cheaper and easier to just develop superpowers rather than pay for costly surgery. It's win-win, you get superpowers and a bigger set of funbags. Everybody wins! Now onto my point. Today Newsarama released a review for the new Jean Grey Origin Mini-Series. If you don't know who Jean Grey is , well she's one of the original members of the X-Men. If you don't know who the X-Men are, well . . . get-fucking-with-it and while you're at it get back down to earth.

Like I said, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge knockers, and Jean Grey is no exception. In fact, her gazungas are probably one of the most overly exploited pair Marvel Comics has on file . . . especially when drawn by Greg Land
(actually every woman drawn by Greg Land is like this). Or when she's gone evil...
Ok, so the last example may actually be Jean's clone, but it's essentially the same pair of juggs.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good set of jubblies as much as the next guy. However, a) comic book art is not generally a turn on for me and b) I've finally reached the part of this post where I start to make a point and refer to that whole Newsarama review thing I mentioned way up there before I distracted you from my terrible grammer with some major boobage.

Now take a good look at the cover for issue #1. Notice anything? (click on it for a better view)
The first thing I noticed is that the X-Men actually look like children, as they are supposed to, when they first arrived at the Xavier Institute. Even the reviewer states the artist's "young Jean actually looks like a young girl". It's one of the only good things he has to say about the issue. However, you're probably wondering what all this previous talk about breasteses is about and what the fuck it has to do with anything. Well, take another good look at that cover. Even though this is supposed to be a very young, pre-teen Jean Grey, she still has a chest that could land her a part in the newest Girls Gone Wild installment. Something is very out of whack about this.

I get why comic companies give their female heroes huge guns. Just like with everything else, sex sells, and yes I'm sure there are many people who have enjoyed many a romantic evening with an issue Catwoman that can prove this point. I also realize that yes some young girls develop earlier than others and that it is entirely possible that Jean could have as well. However, I like to think that this thought did not cross the artists mind, and that possibly in an attempt to appeal the to pedophile crowd Marvel wanted young Jean Grey to have as big a rack as they could get away with. I suppose there's also the possibility that this image is supposed to attract pre-teen boys to this comic, but the fact is pre-teen boys don't read comics any more unless they're from Japan, or unless they stumble across their older brothers collection, in which case they will probably look past it and take the big stack of porn that the comics were actually hiding and check out some real melons instead. Therefore, by process of elimination, I think it's safe to say that these pre-teen cans were created and directed toward the dirty old man crowd, not surprisingly though, because Stan Lee is in fact a dirty old man.

(Note. synonyms for breasts that I didn't get to use but wanted to: milk factories, busoms, bazungas, bra fillers, erection factories, nipple foundations)

Things I've Learnt from Archie Comics - Episode 1

1. In the year 3000, mullets will be way cool!