Comics Kick Ass #1

Batman and Superman are jerks!


...and they are apparently really in love with themselves, or each other

Saturday at the Arcade

The other day I had one of my wonderful brainstorms. I should wrangle a group of people together and go play video games at an arcade. Apparently such things still exist. The extent of my wrangling was quite small as few people either didn't want to go, or said they would then promptly locked their doors and threw out their telephones so I could not contact them, for perhaps to them going to an arcade is some sort of silly, childish time waster. They could be right. But this particular arcade only charges $3/hour of gaming. I don't care who you are or where you live or what you do, $3 for an hour of entertainment is pretty freaking good.

So, I managed to wrangle Smyrish and one of my bearded friends into coming to the arcade, and let me tell you: It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't terrible. It had a Wrestlemania arcade where I could play as Razer Ramon and Dionk the Clown. How could it be bad?


It wasn't so much that it was bad, it was just a little boring. Perhaps the previous evenings four hours of video games kind of ruined me for the days events. I think that the proof of this, is in the fact that I had more fun playing ski ball than the Terminator Arcade that I still suck at.


Ah well, like I said, it was only $3 and everything was free. I didn't have to drop quarters into a machine that a) didn't work and b) didn't give me my money back, just as the scenario is usually played out when I go arcading. For some reason I didn't play any Dance Dance Revolution. It's usually the first thing I go to. Perhaps I was just too distracted by all the bright flashing lights. . . wait a tick. All DDR is, is bright flashing lights...hmmmmm...whatever the case may be, the fact is I didn't play it, and it was odd.

They had some Classic games like Metal Slug (which Smyrish is playing above), Ms. Pac Man, and some good old Street Fighter which were pretty kick ass. Even with these, I don't think it was enough to draw me back anytime soon. Maybe next time we'll put a few beer in us and then go. But perhaps being drunk in public surrounded by a bunch of children in the early afternoon isn't the best idea legally speaking.

Where is My Mind: The Strip!

this was all done in Gimp. so it's a few steps up from MS Paint. Hopefully the lack of artistic skill will be balanced out by some funny.

A new time waster

Well, today has been productive. After working 7 days straight at the photo hut for while the old man is was on holidays, I finally have a day off, and 4 more follow this one. So what have I done that is so productive you ask. Well, I watched Battlestar Gallactica. . . ok maybe not that's not very productive, but it's something I've been meaning to do. Following that I made a trek through the hot sun and crazy winds to the village of value to purchase some articles of clothing, and browse books of both the traditional and comic form. It was a partly successful trip, but I didn't exactly find what I was looking for. However, my greatest success of the day thus far has been the discovery of an all new time wasting activity for me: taking pictures of me friends and putting them in the game Doom.



I'm sure that I'm at least a good decade behind in thinking that this is cool and fun. But, oh well. I like it now and that's what matters, not? I just like to think that it has an enormous amount of possibilities for fun...and like I said, I can waste even more time now doing another thing to put off my priorities.

I love being a slacker.

I like boobs, and I think they're popular in the funny books too

So, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge boobs. HOT TIP FOR THE LADIES: If you want bigger tits, it may be cheaper and easier to just develop superpowers rather than pay for costly surgery. It's win-win, you get superpowers and a bigger set of funbags. Everybody wins! Now onto my point. Today Newsarama released a review for the new Jean Grey Origin Mini-Series. If you don't know who Jean Grey is , well she's one of the original members of the X-Men. If you don't know who the X-Men are, well . . . get-fucking-with-it and while you're at it get back down to earth.

Like I said, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge knockers, and Jean Grey is no exception. In fact, her gazungas are probably one of the most overly exploited pair Marvel Comics has on file . . . especially when drawn by Greg Land
(actually every woman drawn by Greg Land is like this). Or when she's gone evil...
Ok, so the last example may actually be Jean's clone, but it's essentially the same pair of juggs.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good set of jubblies as much as the next guy. However, a) comic book art is not generally a turn on for me and b) I've finally reached the part of this post where I start to make a point and refer to that whole Newsarama review thing I mentioned way up there before I distracted you from my terrible grammer with some major boobage.

Now take a good look at the cover for issue #1. Notice anything? (click on it for a better view)
The first thing I noticed is that the X-Men actually look like children, as they are supposed to, when they first arrived at the Xavier Institute. Even the reviewer states the artist's "young Jean actually looks like a young girl". It's one of the only good things he has to say about the issue. However, you're probably wondering what all this previous talk about breasteses is about and what the fuck it has to do with anything. Well, take another good look at that cover. Even though this is supposed to be a very young, pre-teen Jean Grey, she still has a chest that could land her a part in the newest Girls Gone Wild installment. Something is very out of whack about this.

I get why comic companies give their female heroes huge guns. Just like with everything else, sex sells, and yes I'm sure there are many people who have enjoyed many a romantic evening with an issue Catwoman that can prove this point. I also realize that yes some young girls develop earlier than others and that it is entirely possible that Jean could have as well. However, I like to think that this thought did not cross the artists mind, and that possibly in an attempt to appeal the to pedophile crowd Marvel wanted young Jean Grey to have as big a rack as they could get away with. I suppose there's also the possibility that this image is supposed to attract pre-teen boys to this comic, but the fact is pre-teen boys don't read comics any more unless they're from Japan, or unless they stumble across their older brothers collection, in which case they will probably look past it and take the big stack of porn that the comics were actually hiding and check out some real melons instead. Therefore, by process of elimination, I think it's safe to say that these pre-teen cans were created and directed toward the dirty old man crowd, not surprisingly though, because Stan Lee is in fact a dirty old man.

(Note. synonyms for breasts that I didn't get to use but wanted to: milk factories, busoms, bazungas, bra fillers, erection factories, nipple foundations)