I like boobs, and I think they're popular in the funny books too

So, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge boobs. HOT TIP FOR THE LADIES: If you want bigger tits, it may be cheaper and easier to just develop superpowers rather than pay for costly surgery. It's win-win, you get superpowers and a bigger set of funbags. Everybody wins! Now onto my point. Today Newsarama released a review for the new Jean Grey Origin Mini-Series. If you don't know who Jean Grey is , well she's one of the original members of the X-Men. If you don't know who the X-Men are, well . . . get-fucking-with-it and while you're at it get back down to earth.

Like I said, there's no hiding the fact that female superheroes have huge knockers, and Jean Grey is no exception. In fact, her gazungas are probably one of the most overly exploited pair Marvel Comics has on file . . . especially when drawn by Greg Land
(actually every woman drawn by Greg Land is like this). Or when she's gone evil...
Ok, so the last example may actually be Jean's clone, but it's essentially the same pair of juggs.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good set of jubblies as much as the next guy. However, a) comic book art is not generally a turn on for me and b) I've finally reached the part of this post where I start to make a point and refer to that whole Newsarama review thing I mentioned way up there before I distracted you from my terrible grammer with some major boobage.

Now take a good look at the cover for issue #1. Notice anything? (click on it for a better view)
The first thing I noticed is that the X-Men actually look like children, as they are supposed to, when they first arrived at the Xavier Institute. Even the reviewer states the artist's "young Jean actually looks like a young girl". It's one of the only good things he has to say about the issue. However, you're probably wondering what all this previous talk about breasteses is about and what the fuck it has to do with anything. Well, take another good look at that cover. Even though this is supposed to be a very young, pre-teen Jean Grey, she still has a chest that could land her a part in the newest Girls Gone Wild installment. Something is very out of whack about this.

I get why comic companies give their female heroes huge guns. Just like with everything else, sex sells, and yes I'm sure there are many people who have enjoyed many a romantic evening with an issue Catwoman that can prove this point. I also realize that yes some young girls develop earlier than others and that it is entirely possible that Jean could have as well. However, I like to think that this thought did not cross the artists mind, and that possibly in an attempt to appeal the to pedophile crowd Marvel wanted young Jean Grey to have as big a rack as they could get away with. I suppose there's also the possibility that this image is supposed to attract pre-teen boys to this comic, but the fact is pre-teen boys don't read comics any more unless they're from Japan, or unless they stumble across their older brothers collection, in which case they will probably look past it and take the big stack of porn that the comics were actually hiding and check out some real melons instead. Therefore, by process of elimination, I think it's safe to say that these pre-teen cans were created and directed toward the dirty old man crowd, not surprisingly though, because Stan Lee is in fact a dirty old man.

(Note. synonyms for breasts that I didn't get to use but wanted to: milk factories, busoms, bazungas, bra fillers, erection factories, nipple foundations)