Hi there people...Almighty God here. Youngblood asked Me to do a post in return for a favour he did me (don't ask what it was, just know that it involved a flock of geese, a glue gun, some rocks, and a platypus). I wasn't quite sure what I would say when he asked me to do this post, so figured I'd just speak My mind about a few things.
Ummm...Sorry about the whole New Orleans thing. Uh yeah...My son was playing with some switches and dials and...uh...yeah...just...sorry...won't happen again. I promise.
Uh...ok on to something else...let's see...what's really been grinding My gears lately?...Oh yeah...Umm...frankly between you and Me...I don't bless America. I don't know where these guys get off telling Me what to bless. Honestly, I can't actually bless anything. It was just something I made up one day. I don't actually know what the word means. Do you? Didn't think so.
One thing I've been meaning to get off My chest is how pissed I am at Myself for not making more hours in the day. I really should have seen that one coming. Like, I might be omnipotent, but I still like to try to live a normal life. Between work and going to the club, I just have no time for Myself. Like, I'm pretty busy at work and I'm dedicated to My work too, but a girl's got to have some fun. Know what I mean? I think you do.
Another thing...All of you who keep asking Me for shit, just be patient. I might be omnipotent, but there's still a lot of you asking Me for stuff everyday. Not everyone can win the lottery all the time you know . Hasn't anyone seen that Jim Carrey movie where he's got My power. Oh you haven't? Well see it and then you might start knowing what a day at the office is for Me. Everyone wonders way there's still drought and famine in the world, and I'll tell you why that is. Think of it this way: if you're working in a restaurant and orders keep piling up, and the manager keeps telling you that the one you just got is more important than the ones preceding it, and he wants you to cook that one first and so on and so forth, then orders start piling up more and more. Then the one you started with never gets cooked. That's how it is with me. If you'd all stop asking Me for pety shit everyday and wait until you need to ask for something important, maybe I'd be able to help you out with some of the other major problems like drought, and famine, and all the rest.
...sorry I got a little carried away there....but seriously though, start figuring some things out on your own. It's like in elementary school when you're constantly asking the teacher for help. What do they tell you? "Figure it out on your own." If you genuinely need help then sure come on down! But if you need money just to buy that new Lexus, you're moving to the bottom of the fucking totem pole.
Well I think that should be about enough to keep Mr. Youngblood happy. Even if he isn't though, what's he going to do. I'M FUCKING GOD!!!!
Almighty God
-----note----
Youngblood hopes he didn't offend anyone with this bogus God post. We all know God's a man.
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Ummm...Sorry about the whole New Orleans thing. Uh yeah...My son was playing with some switches and dials and...uh...yeah...just...sorry...won't happen again. I promise.
Uh...ok on to something else...let's see...what's really been grinding My gears lately?...Oh yeah...Umm...frankly between you and Me...I don't bless America. I don't know where these guys get off telling Me what to bless. Honestly, I can't actually bless anything. It was just something I made up one day. I don't actually know what the word means. Do you? Didn't think so.
One thing I've been meaning to get off My chest is how pissed I am at Myself for not making more hours in the day. I really should have seen that one coming. Like, I might be omnipotent, but I still like to try to live a normal life. Between work and going to the club, I just have no time for Myself. Like, I'm pretty busy at work and I'm dedicated to My work too, but a girl's got to have some fun. Know what I mean? I think you do.
Another thing...All of you who keep asking Me for shit, just be patient. I might be omnipotent, but there's still a lot of you asking Me for stuff everyday. Not everyone can win the lottery all the time you know . Hasn't anyone seen that Jim Carrey movie where he's got My power. Oh you haven't? Well see it and then you might start knowing what a day at the office is for Me. Everyone wonders way there's still drought and famine in the world, and I'll tell you why that is. Think of it this way: if you're working in a restaurant and orders keep piling up, and the manager keeps telling you that the one you just got is more important than the ones preceding it, and he wants you to cook that one first and so on and so forth, then orders start piling up more and more. Then the one you started with never gets cooked. That's how it is with me. If you'd all stop asking Me for pety shit everyday and wait until you need to ask for something important, maybe I'd be able to help you out with some of the other major problems like drought, and famine, and all the rest.
...sorry I got a little carried away there....but seriously though, start figuring some things out on your own. It's like in elementary school when you're constantly asking the teacher for help. What do they tell you? "Figure it out on your own." If you genuinely need help then sure come on down! But if you need money just to buy that new Lexus, you're moving to the bottom of the fucking totem pole.
Well I think that should be about enough to keep Mr. Youngblood happy. Even if he isn't though, what's he going to do. I'M FUCKING GOD!!!!
Almighty God
-----note----
Youngblood hopes he didn't offend anyone with this bogus God post. We all know God's a man.
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