Brain Farts

I’ll never forget that beautiful summer day, when I was watching the sun set, drinking a nice cold beer, and listening to the ball game on the radio. I didn’t think anything could possibly make this moment any better, until I saw a flock of birds fly across the sunset and exploded from eating all that rice in the bird feeder.

I’d like to say that the reason I never had many girlfriends when I was younger was because I was a gentleman and all the girls wanted bad boys, but in actuality I was just a loser.

I wonder if the Green Lantern ever used his ring to create a toilet of he was on a long trip and needed to take a crap.

I wonder what fart putty would sound like if you swallowed it. Like, what kind of sounds would it make on the way down? Just imagine how it would sound on the way out! That’s probably the main reason the label cautions against swallowing it. T has nothing to do with toxins or choking. The manufacturer is probably just trying to prevent all the annoyances and never-ending laughter.

The voices in my head say ‘yes’.

When people put “committed” on their resumés under “relevant skills”, what is that supposed to mean. What is that supposed to mean? “I’m committed!” To what!? Heroin? Your dog? Reality TV? This makes no sense to me.

Youngblood