The Search for a Flux Capacitor

Lately I’ve been doing some serious thinking about my life. I’ve been assessing a lot of things. I’ve realized that I haven’t done a lot of things I wanted to do by now, and there are a lot of things that I would like to do while I am still in this period of my life. However, mainly I’ve found that there is one major thing that is seriously lacking in my life right now (besides dignity). The “thing” in question, is a flux capacitor. If you don’t know what a flux capacitor is, it is the device that makes time travel possible. That is if you go along with the Dr. Emmett Brown theory of time travel. So I’ve decided to embark on a search for such an item. I’ve outlined some steps as to how to acquire it and I’ve decided to share them with you incase some of you out there are also lacking of a flux capacitor, and need one to make your life feel more whole; or full if you will.

1. First you need to have a place to go and reason to go there. Make it a good one because you can (and probably will) fuck shit up, and you could be stuck wherever you’re going. So make it a place you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your pathetic existence, you shmuck.
2. Once you’ve decided on a destination you now must find a power source. To travel through time you will need a charge of 1.21 gigawatts. Dr. Brown originally used plutonium, however a bolt of lightning did work in a pinch. Both will be difficult to use, but will be effective. I recommend this step before you do anything else because the flux capacitor is going to be tough (and expensive) to build or find. So you better make sure you have a use for it before you spend all your time and money acquiring it.
3. Okay, now that you have a destination and a power source you’re going to want to start finding your flux capacitor. I recommend eBay. While Napoleon Dynamite’s brother and uncle got hosed on their time machine, you might get lucky and find the suitable instructions, parts or maybe even the whole thing. I also recommend looking through ads in magazines like popular science or popular mechanics. Someone might be wanting to unload some primo merchandise. Do you really want to be getting left out on a time bending adventure, just because you were too cheap to buy a magazine or two? I didn’t think so.
4. Well, I guess that’s about it. Once you have you have your flux capacitor then you’re pretty much set. All you have to do is figure out a way to focus that energy into the flux capacitor. Once again, for solutions to this query I recommend you check out eBay and various magazines. Either that or just run a big pole right into the flux capacitor, and wait for lighting to strike it. This is all up to you, I’m just here to help you get your hands on a flux capacitor, not tell you how to use it.

Happy hunting, good luck, and see you in the future.

Youngblood