The Real Animal Kingdom

Whenever I go home for a visit, I always end up watching the squirrel that lives in my moms yard (or garage or under the deck. I don’t know were). It runs around and jumps of this and that and eats bird seed; you know normal squirrel stuff. But I wonder if it’s doing that because it knows I’m watching it. Do animals behave certain ways because they know people are watching them? Do they just do what’s expected of them?

I think so. Once we’re done watching them they drop the act and go back to their normal thing. It makes sense. Do you think a cat actually wants to be licking his own nuts? No! Of course he doesn’t! But we expect him to so he just does it. He knows that if we see him do it we’ll all have a laugh, so he does it.

What I’d like to see is just a family of kangaroos just hanging out at A&W; on their way to a family reunion. Or see a herd of zebras go for an after work drink. Of course there would have be various different bars for the animals. You couldn’t have a lion and zebra going to the same bar, because the zebras would just get eaten. And the lions wouldn’t go there just because it’s just the rules. You don’t go into the zebra’s bar and eat them. If you want to eat one you have to wait until some camera crew is watching you while your trying to sleep one day. You give them a show for their documentary, and then send the zebra’s family an apology accompanied by a fruit basket and a bunch of cash. But if a zebra walks into the lion’s bar, they’re just asking for it. Whatever happens they deserve it; same as it works in the human world.

I’d like to sit and chat with some animals, and get some of their feedback on some stuff. Like this whole alien/cow mutilation thing. I’d like to get the cow’s side of the story. See if the aliens are actually mutilating the cows, or if my theory is right and the cows are just randomly exploding (I’d love to see that; a cow just randomly explode while your driving by one day…gotta put that in a movie sometime).

Youngblood