The Name Game

Any celebrity with the name Dick is asking for it. Do these people expect to be taken as serious actors with a name like that? That’s like being president and having the name Bush…oh wait, that’s happened twice already. Well what about colon…oh wait, never mind. Anyway what I’ve been trying to say is, what’s wrong with Richard? Why must they use Dick? Yeah sure it sounds funny at first, but it wears off. Does no one see this? Like, where are Dick Sargent and Dick York these days? (ok I admit they’re dead their, but what kind of careers did they have?)

Where did this whole Dick thing come from anyway? Who derived Dick from Richard? Well this guy didn’t do it but he has a good answer; Kris Novessellic once said “Rich is short for Richard, and Dick is short for Richard. So I guess that means if you’re Rich you’re a Dick.” (man, I love that quote) I think it goes back to King Richard (I don’t care which one just pick). Think about it, if the people hated him, then they’d start talking shit about him. They’d call him things like…oh I don’t know…maybe Dick. So eventually it caught on and anyone named Richard became Dick. Or maybe it started with them calling him Dickhead, and as time went on people got lazier and just cut it down to Dick.

Now these explanations of the origin of Dick probably aren’t true, but lets just go with them. And while were playing the name game I say we make a few more changes. I propose that we start calling any one with the name Bush, Pussy, and anyone named Colon, Asshole.

Youngblood