Youngblood at the Movies

As you may already know from previous a previous post, I really don’t like Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, and I love to hate on this movie, but I figured I should give it a fair chance. I’ll give it a good look and point out any good points it has and its bad points in a fair way, instead of just unleashing my rage upon it. So here it is:

As far as I see it, the good points are few and far between with this one. One good point is the cast. Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, and Samuel L. Jackson were great, just because of who they are. They’d be good in anything. Their performances have never let me down (Sammy J. is so cool it hurts). But the cast can also be a downside as well. Sure, it’s a good idea to get an unknown to play a huge role, like Anakin Skywalker, and help launch a young career, but there are unknowns who can act a lot better than Hayden Christensen. His performance was just plain bad! For a role as coveted as the Dark Lord of the Sith and that has such high expectations, there should have been some better acting.

As much as everyone loved Yoda’s fight scene, I didn’t. I hated it, and I’m just going to leave it at that, because I’m just going to end up getting angry. I also didn’t like the whole: Jango and Boba Fett thing. They tried to make it seem like it gives some insight into the character of Boba Fett, but it doesn’t. It’s simply cashing in on a popular character. Think about it, for a character who could have been replaced by anyone, they sure have made a lot of money off it, through clothing, toys and video games.

It also didn’t feel like a Star Wars movie to me. All of the other ones worked on a system: they had an introduction that would last about 45 minutes (e.g. Battle of Hoth, the rescue of Han Solo), then it would break into the main story, and end with a battle sequence of some kind. This had nothing of the sort, at least that I could discern. Yeah there was a battle sequence, but it seemed like the rest was just a jumble of that intro and main story. It just didn’t feel right for me.

Now it seems to me a there’s a rather large plot hole that I must address. Now granted the next movie might explain it, but I’ve done a lot of thinking about it and I can’t see a way around it. In the original Star Wars, C3P0 and R2-D2 are sold by the Jawa’s to Owen and Beru Lars, Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle who live on the planet Tatooine. C3PO mentions that working on a moisture farm was his first job. Skip to Attack of the Clones: Anakin and Padme go to Tatooine to find Anakin’s mother. They go to the farm were she and her new husband live to find her. She’s not there but C3PO is working at his first job on a moisture farm, and working for Anakin’s step-father who has a son named Owen Lars and his wife’s is Beru. Then a couple years down the road the driod’s cross paths with Owen and Beru again when the Jawas sell C3PO and R2-D2 back to them. Now here’s where things get fishy: wouldn’t they remember this driod? Ok, so what if they didn’t, wouldn’t C3PO remember them, or recognize where he is, or the name Skywalker? He did leave Tatooine with Anakin, Padme, and R2. And would he not have heard of Obi Wan Kenobi? Surely he must have had to considering that he was around during the Clone Wars. Obi Wan was a high ranking general. Okay, you might make the prediction that he had his memory erased, but if he did it still wouldn’t account for the fact that he remembers his first job or the Clone Wars. It’s a pretty big plot hole, and it’s gonna take Lucas a lot to fill it in. (If he even bothers to do it)

I think I covered about everything I wanted to say today, and if I missed something I’ll just let it go. As much as I didn’t like this movie and the one before it wasn’t much better (but it was better. I don’t care what anybody says), I still say BRING ON EPISODE III! Lets end this bitch already. It’s been damn near 30 years I think it’s about time.

So I am giving Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones þ1/2 out of 5

Youngblood